Adulting Secrets

I’m lying in my bed tonight actually wondering what I could possibly write about this week. A lot has been going on and I think all of my acquired lessons and experiences are fairly relatable.

I believe the most relatable and recurring theme though has to be the one around  identity. who are you in the context of your inner self and who are you in the context of the world? Very, very important… and herein potentially lies the secret to adulting.

It’s crazy how growing up, I observed so many of us dressing in the same way and then claiming to be “different”. We essentially aspired for the same bullshit not because we wanted it, but because we wanted to feel and be “unique” and “important”in a way that didn’t require us to feel alone and be brave. What I’ve come to realize, actually, is that we still don’t appreciate the power in being genuinely unique and different. 

“Life is an endless journey of self discovery and reinvention. Fall madly and deeply with yourself and for yourself.”

It’s true what they say, we are the lost generation. When I think of all my peers, what comes to mind is wandering sheep. We are all sheep that are wandering to utopia- land. One day stumbling on pieces of the puzzle that make us certain of the direction until another one of us finds finds something more promising and we then all follow suit, believing that surely “this must be it”.

For me, utopia symbolizes purpose. In purpose there is certainty, clarity and identity and this is what many of us lack when taking action. What sucks is that we are all trying so very hard to prove to each other that we “have it all figured out” and are “on our way” (when we ourselves have no fucking clue!) and maybe we could just be on our way…. However, I cannot help but wonder what happens to those of us who deep down don’t believe “we have it all figured out” and are really just going nowhere slowly. What happens to those of us who end up mirroring our decisions and choices on an identity that isn’t ours but our friends and peers. I hear you saying “that’s peer pressure and we are too grown for that” but trust me, even now, this is a real thing, it happens.

Friends, today I ask humbly,let’s stay in our lanes. No one else knows what’s best for you than yourself. Set your own path, chart your own course and start building your own dreams and goals and futures; because the last thing you want is to wake up and say ” oh I remember when Elon told me he was going to build a rocket and launch it into space, I helped him you know… ” and have nobody care because you went along and built your life with someone else’s stencil of relevance…

Life is an endless journey of self discovery and reinvention. Fall madly and deeply with yourself and for yourself. Make it your life’s mission to evolve into the greatest version of yourself, by yourself and against your own goals and dreams. Life is too long to try and master someone else.

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Anonymous says:

    Wow Tshego! This has to be my favourite post so far 🙂 I concur with your argument and advice on setting your own path and loving yourself as a key driver for self-realisation…keep going!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tshegofatso says:

      Thanks Someone 😅, I’m glad you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for the encouragement!


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